It's All About Us

I don't care what CERTAIN ESKYS think, I like this song by Tatu. Too damned catchy.

Well I cried while taking a shower. Can't stop, I randomly think of things that remind me of good times me and Rick had and even now I feel on the verge of tears. Shit.

Well I talked to my brother Andrew, youngest of boys but three years older than me. We are planning on getting a tattoo together for my birthday, and I guess for his since ours are exactly a month apart, strange huh? Well I plan on getting a picture of an evil smiley face on my right calve, outer side. I think of getting coloured but that would make it one houndred so I am gonna see how much it would be with no colour.

Well I did not explain but I broke up with Rick yesterday. There is like a fucking huge hole in my heart. It hurts, feels as though I am bleeding from the inside. Shit. It was for my and his best. Though I didn't realize that it WAS for him also, whether he would believe at this point or not because before he asked and I said no it wasn't for him. How else is he to realize and possibly get initiative to better himself and do something about his life. I feel for him damn it. I know him so well now. He was crying and bleeding and I had to go by my house today(he is staying there until he can move out, I am staying at best friends Shawna) and he was there sleeping. I then went and got into the shower and that's when the crying started, it was sudden and uncontrollable and I could feel the tears through the water.

Luckily I have my friends Shawna, her boyfriend Gera, and of course Dr. Esky who has the prescription :D.

Cause I am stronger now, since you crawled away your so far away...

I love Trust Company, you wanna tear me down you wanna hold me down you cant control me now, but you cant cause I'm stronger now.

Wow this song goes surprisingly well with my situation. I love downfall, bad ass song.

Yay, popcorn, trying to distract my eyes so they won't break me. Shit, I feel horrid. Apparently Shawna's mom, Debbie, whom is a good lady, wants to speak with me about my situation. When I called Shawna after I broke up with him I talked to her mom and asked if it would be okay if I stayed for a few days until Rick could leave, she said yes. She is a really good woman, Ms Debbie, she bought wine and let me drink some, I didn't mean to drink over half the bottle >.<. I hope she doesn't get pissed if she hasn't seen it. I needed it, and it helped me relax. I appreciate these people so much. Oh yes, they bought me creamer for coffee also! Who does that? Only awesomely nice understandable people. I love my second family who sometimes feels like my first. It's funny cause yesterday I was gone for like, four hours, and Shawna called and said she was wondering if I was coming back cause she missed me :*). Jus bring a tear to a glass eye, as my dad would say. I am not use to kindness but what should you expect of someone you've known for a lil over twelve years? Shawna is awesome and my physical opposite but in the head we are both crazy hyperactive bitches. I love me friend so heres a pic of her instead of the tatt I want, which I will post later.

I didn't know you could have more than one pic so the smiley face is the tatt I want, and it's gonna be about the size of a c.d.