Blada blah

I need some sever help in many areas. I lack ability to comprehend and understand. I need something I do not have. Want much of not what I own. I need other things.

Why so needy I wonder? Why can't I be happy withe the life I have? What is wrong with it? Fuckin everything damn me.

I don't know not sure what to think what to do what to do what to do what to do....

Love is a very fucked up emotion. Makes you feel as though you can't leave them. Then the part of you that is losing that feeling of love starts dying and you don't know what to do because you always have an inch of life in that part and the love fucking burns you. I feel third degrees.

Shit, I don't know. Like I might have said at some point, I am melodramatic indecisive and confused as Hell at this point. I wish I could be like some people and jus leave and say fuck it but my FUCKING MIND. KEEPS FUCKIN REELING AND SAYING WHAT WILL YOU DO HOW WILL YOU LIVE WHO WILL COMFORT YOU WHO WILL YOU FUCK WHAT WILL YOU DO WHAT WILL YOU DO WHAT WILL YOU DO

Shit. I am jus so fucking angry now. Inside I am like a fuckin bull. Encaged in a body wanting to fucking destroy everything punch everything calm this fucking need. NEED I swear to God that's what it is.

My friends asked me to pray for her nephew Kayden, who is insanely cute by the way. Now you can see him. Anywho, I love the little guy and when you see him you know he'll overcome the fucked up position the motherfucking literally coke head doctor put him in. He is a strong little boy but unfortuantly he arches uncontrollably to the point of tears and seizures every five minutes or so. He has a tube in his stomache so he can eat. His formula cost twenty six dollars and it las two and a half days. His first trip to the doctor, and hes been there many times, cost a million dollars.

BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING DOCTOR AND HOSPICE!

Yes they are sueing. However now you can only get a certain amount from doctors and whatever they get they have to pay bad medicade. Then there is the future care of their adorable child. Las night Sarah, his mother and my friends half sister, cried walking talking about it. I let her know the truth. She is an incredibly strong woman, she has managed to keep smiling and trying to think positive through this. But she must ask, and I do/don't really understand, Why did this have to happen to her? Her baby was healthy as could be, he was fine until she got to the hospital. Fucking bastard people who don't give a shit. It is very upsetting to me. I don't understand it I don't. IT IS A BABY. It
s Texas children, shouldn't they know about this shit. Now poor Kayden has to deal with the consequences, and of course his parents. Sarah looks as though she never gets any sleep. I am hoping to try and find possible donations or someone who can maybe help them. I love you all and hope you will be okay. Like I told Sarah, this boy WILL overcome and do something great, I can feel it when I see his bright eyes. I think you would be able to also. Sarah said she knew the same thing but jus felt down about the disabilities infront of him. He has not been able to progress very much. He has a younger cousin who can do more than little kayden. But we love him and he is awesome!

Love you all.