I think I am to mean sometimes...

Like Rick was jus trying to read me something he found humorous and I jus acted like a jackass. I get offended and don't laugh and he is jus trying to make me do so. I don't think he means to piss me off, however I know there are times when he does it on purpose. I dunno. I jus wanna be nice and have him be nice, but normally when I wanna be sweet he does not. Or if he wants to be nice I am in a bitchy mood. It always happens like this. I love him and wanna be with him and be happy with him. Now though I jus dunno how we can ever work out. He is jealous and untrusting to me, he has told me he will never trust me. I am jus really jealous, I trust him not to do anything, but I don't like him thinking about chicks or lingering eyes he has. It angers me damnit. I think if he would fucking do things like complimenting me and noticing me and not being so stray like I wouldn't mind so much. However he is not the type to compliment and it isn't easy to get him to do so. I jus wanna feel cared for, loved, wanted, needed, like how I need him, and want him, and care for him. I don't think he really sees me so. I feel so shitty.

I want you to see me
I want you to know me
Acknowledge me please God jus tell me you love me
Stroke my face and tell me sweet things
Hug me gently and try not to break me
Shh quiet your voice no yelling here
Please jus be calm please jus be near
I want to hold you and for you to hold back
I don't want to worry that when you leave you'll never come back
I want to be with you and stay with you sleep with you and rest forever
But I don't think you do
I think you look at me with some animosity
You wonder where I've been
Where I have crawled to and through
When I tell the truth
You take if for shit
I sit here thinking I am horrible and self absorbed
As you sit claiming death is upon you
I want to rest
Alone
Without You.

Impy

Poem

so never be ashamed of what you've written on yourself
don't hide those which makes you truly yourself
why must you be ashamed?
of what gift was given?
take it and behold
or rid the world of your selfish want of something you don't really have
ungrateful for what you have
never truly loving what y ou are
you are a beast of Hell
get back bastard

V the Wench

Death

It is a dirty word for us,
It has the copper of blood we have already tasted,
Something far too familiar
Far to serious
We recognize it from any angle and breath in as it approaches
with a bow
it passes
Safe for another day
Years and years of knowing

poem

so sitting here
biding time
until i drive in the ax
i step on your back and push it
deeper into you
and then i take it out and kiss you and wipe wounds
jus to drive in the blade
and this time i willl twist
and you will feel it all and I will feel it some
watching you, breaking me, reaching and choking me
and I cry and it burns but what must be one is what must be done!
this is the end of the story
nevermore will our heads touch and thoughts connect
I am killing you from here
be gone

BIG Mistake

Shit, I fucked up. I fucked up bad. Damn me, what the fuck is wrong with me and what the fuck do I want? How did I fuck up? Well thas it exactly. We fucked. I am so fucking weak, shit. He is passed out right now and here I sit wondering what the fuck I am gonna say if he thinks this means everything is cool. Shit, I am such a fucking idiot. FUCK

What am I doing to you
Jus fucking with you
I feel as though I will be the death of you
But isn't that a tad concieted?
This feels like a dream?
Yes it does, I never imagined I could do this to you
For the best of you you must go
You are not safe here
No caring soul is
In my land I will eat your caring and loving alive
You screaming and twisting as I swallow
Don't come near stay away
For the best of you


V

Poemeded

I left you for reasons you will never understand
and you sit there and you abuse
i try and try to distance and then you crawl through
and now times are harder and i am unsure
how hard i can be
in times of sadness grief rapes me
and i am aftermath
an adavan child sitting and tilting
staring but not seeing
you are not here
you try to be
be gone lost soul
your time for me is extiguished

I Duno

once at midnight
i will ring myself to look upon you
and my thoughts will swim
naked nightmares cross my vision
and memories won't let me be
as my mind races and my pulse threatens
I can hardly deny my fist punishment
beat myself into senselessness
unconsciousness
I no longer wish to be here
with all the pain
and piercing memories
which haunt to the point of insanity
just leave me be
for one night
i take the white pill
and the memories are gone
I am gone a little more and more

I don't KNOW

Why can't I just stay locked away
In the cage that is my mind where
If I want I can find
the tombs of thousands lost
Inside my head
not quite safe
do not journey if you do not know
I believe one day
here I will return
locked inside a shell
no one can enter
and I cannot leave
but that is okay with me