I think I am to mean sometimes...

Like Rick was jus trying to read me something he found humorous and I jus acted like a jackass. I get offended and don't laugh and he is jus trying to make me do so. I don't think he means to piss me off, however I know there are times when he does it on purpose. I dunno. I jus wanna be nice and have him be nice, but normally when I wanna be sweet he does not. Or if he wants to be nice I am in a bitchy mood. It always happens like this. I love him and wanna be with him and be happy with him. Now though I jus dunno how we can ever work out. He is jealous and untrusting to me, he has told me he will never trust me. I am jus really jealous, I trust him not to do anything, but I don't like him thinking about chicks or lingering eyes he has. It angers me damnit. I think if he would fucking do things like complimenting me and noticing me and not being so stray like I wouldn't mind so much. However he is not the type to compliment and it isn't easy to get him to do so. I jus wanna feel cared for, loved, wanted, needed, like how I need him, and want him, and care for him. I don't think he really sees me so. I feel so shitty.

I want you to see me
I want you to know me
Acknowledge me please God jus tell me you love me
Stroke my face and tell me sweet things
Hug me gently and try not to break me
Shh quiet your voice no yelling here
Please jus be calm please jus be near
I want to hold you and for you to hold back
I don't want to worry that when you leave you'll never come back
I want to be with you and stay with you sleep with you and rest forever
But I don't think you do
I think you look at me with some animosity
You wonder where I've been
Where I have crawled to and through
When I tell the truth
You take if for shit
I sit here thinking I am horrible and self absorbed
As you sit claiming death is upon you
I want to rest
Alone
Without You.

Impy