everything has changed

Well I have just found out that my now ex had molested my younger sister on two occasions. Nothing like oral, but touching and shit.

I ask him about this and all he says is there was a time when I was talking to other guys and he would call and talk to her for hours, and came over a few times to hang out with her. REALLY, that young of a girl? I should have known this from those stupid fucking letters but I am the worlds biggest fool.

I don't know if I can feel. or what to do. i want to sink into oblivion and feel the sweet taste of a sour throat from nicotine.

I jus dont know what to do anymore...thigns between me and him had been going good,he was treating me well, we were actually doing okay and i loved him morethan ever. then there was a knock on his door at one oclock, and it was my dad and andrew, they didnt tell me until i was in the ccar, i had to turn around, if i needed aanything it was my cds. id left them, i could even look at him, touch him or anything, im so sick. i want to rip off this flesh and his as well. i want everything to be black, i want to dissapear.forever,its all my fuckin fault. no one will say it but i know its true.

i need to be scarred forthis. forever, to remind me of the faults of men and women. the disgusting underbelly of us all. fuck it all and trust no one.
six years thrown away on a child molester.