So I have been writing something I'm calling Tallis Battles. About two races, the Biocly versus the Sansei. What ends up happening is that both races get their own top male and female warriors, the warriors breed and the single offspring of both races will be destined to battle until one wins, thus ending the war and putting whatever race loses under the other. I haven't got all the details worked out but it's a nice side project I feel commited to.
I have been feeling a bit better about certain things! I am drawing more, and using pencil, thus improving my drawing technique. I am obviously writing a bit more. I am still depressed as always but that will always be there and I will have to work through it.
The thing I do not like is certain thoughts and images my mind produces for me to watch like a film. I'll be sitting in the car and have an image of my opening the door or falling out. Or if I have the window rolled down I'll imagine my glasses flying off my face and being crushed. Overall stressful things. The thing is, I don't consciously think these things. I like being driven around(I have no license) I enjoy watching out the window and normally am thinking something else entirely when these thoughts arise. I also have more disturbing thoughts that pop up which are related to an incident when I was molested. It feels weird "saying" that, getting it out....it's weird how a word like that can make you feel so fucking dirty. Oh well, past is past and dead is dead, right?
Love you my Loves!
Imp
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