Girlfriend Tales

My compassion is broken now
my will is eroded now
desire is broken now
it makes me feel alive
im on my knees and burnin'
my piss and moans are the fuel that sets my head on fire
so smell my soul burn
im broken lookin' up to see the enemy
and i have swallowed the poison you feed me
but i survive on the poison you feed me
guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed
and it makes me feel ugly
on my knees and burnin'
my piss and moans are the fuel that sets my head on fire
im dead inside

shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up at the bottom

if i let you, you would make me destroy myself
in order to survive you, i must first survive myself
i can sink no further, and i cannot forgive you
there's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you
ive gone to great lenghts to expand my threshold of pain
i will use my mistakes against you, there's no other choice
im shameless now, im nameless now, im nothing now, im no one now
but my soul must be iron 'cause my fear is naked
im naked and fearless
and my fear is naked

dead inside, dead inside, dead inside
nameless now, shameless now, nothing now, no one now
shit adds up (x4)
and you see me naked now
fearless now, naked now (x2)
shit adds up
it leaves me dead inside (x4)

hatred keeps me alive
angriness keeps me alive
weakness keeps me alive
guilt keeps me alive
at the bottom

So I awoke this morning at 11 o'clock. Of course, I was SUPPOSE to be awoken at 10 but whatever...my Dad is going to drop me and my Mum off at the Mall and we're going to use her boyfriends car to pick up my check/cash it/get groceries I need.

So this is crazy! My Mum and her b/f have been together for like a year or two. They had also been with one another five or ten years ago but he ended up moving. WEEEELL! Both of them were married, though separated. My mums been separated for ten years or so, he has been sleeping in his closet in their bedroom. Also, whenever him and his lady would engage in certain AKTS she would berate him with "is that all you got?" What a ho =O

So basically last night he told his lady and kids that he has a girlfriend!!! >.< I feel extremely trashy now...lol whatever. Reality is a bit more obscene :P

So that's a bit crazy, that's what I woke up to! Being told that stuff...wtf?

Angel with the Scabbed Wings - Marilyn Manson

Been listening to old Marilyn Manson and mostly old but some new Tool. Also listening the Bloodhound Gang but I don't know if the album is old or not. Has Three Point One Four, Take a Right Turn Clyde, Long Way Home, on it so whatever that tells you....

There are thoughts born to keep you awake at night. So just when you drift off, they poke the shit out of you and force awareness down your fucking throat. I am the home of all thoughts like this. It isn't as fun as it sounds(surprisingly, I know). Well I don't know where I was going with that!
~Imp C