Wondering.....

Should I have given Rick a chance to say something? He came over and all I said was "What?". I was pissed of course because he did act dickish, but I wonder if he was going to apologize or something. Makes me wonder....and of course I want to go over there. I don't think I will, the main think I'm worried about though is getting up in the morning to go and get my check. I think I may go by there and see if I can borrow his phone to use as an alarm, see what happens from there. See what his fuckin ass is up to. I've gotten as paranoid as he now. I wonder if things he has told me have been lies, if he is covering for something. I am becoming more and more positive that it is. I don't know what to think anymore. Occasionally I wish there WAS another here for me just so I could end it. Then there are the times when he's holding me and kissing me and nothing could feel more right than that. He holds my heart but likes to throw it against the wall, or so it seems. I don't know. I am a bit confused now....>.<
Love you Loves, keep me in your thoughts
Imp C